So an awesome person God has put into my life challenged me (well not me specifically–she was addressing a group of people) to write our own psalm. I wasn’t so sure about how well I could do that, but I tried it…might not be very good, but I think it captures the anger, frustration, and confusion I have been feeling, entwined with the tiny little fragile threads of hope I have left.
God I need you.
Are you even still there?
Have you forgotten about me down here?
Do you not see how much I long to be pulled into your arms?
I feel alone.
What did I do wrong?
Why do you keep letting me jump from crisis to crisis?
I know you are up there.
It feels like you keep pulling me up halfway to remind me you are there.
But then I fall back down again.
I am broken God.
My heart feels like it is running dry.
I want you to take me home, but I’m running out of hope.
How much longer do I need to wait?
I don’t feel like I can take this much longer.
How long do I need to be patient?
I can’t live apart from you.
When does this end?
I want out.
Thank you, Lord for listening to the cries of your daughter.
Hold me upright while the world falls apart around me.
Help me endure for your timing.
I don’t understand what you are doing, but I love you and trust you to make things right.
Thank you for holding my hand.