Don’t you think I care

(Don’t even try–Children 18:3)

This is probably something that I should not admit, but I kind of decided today that when I grow up I am giving myself permission to kind of be a hoarder…

Having stuff everywhere may not look attractive, but it makes me feel safe, and ultimately if I am living on my own it makes sense to do what makes me feel safest.

As much as I would like to make my room and apartment look presentable, it is hard because I like the way it feels to have my things all around me. Also, especially at home, but also at school, I have way more stuff than it is even really possible to put away nicely…right now my parents have pretty much given up on my room since there is so much college stuff that doesn’t really have a place to go, but I do need it to be clean enough to make it from the bed to the door and be able to locate my clothing along the way. My apartment has similar requirements of being able to get around, and also since you can see the whole apartment upon entering, if anyone is ever going to come over there needs to be some level of cleaned up even if the majority of the time my clothes are covering the floor and my papers are spread out in the section of floor space not taken over by my clothes or the path between the bed, bathroom, and door…

If and/or when I move into an apartment or house with a separate bedroom, that is when I will have grown up enough to be a hoarder…then I can fill up my bedroom and if I can barely get in that is okay, because there will be another room to sleep on the floor in on the days I can’t find enough space on the bed and if people come over I can just close the bedroom door and no one needs to know how I make myself feel safe…

yeah, it might not be such a conventional approach to home-making, but if it makes life easier and isn’t hurting anything I don’t see any reason why I can’t be a hoarder if I wanna…


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