Would You Remind Me Now of Who You Are

(The Broken Beautiful–Ellie Holcomb)

(I figured since I have worked really hard today that it was okay to give myself another break)

So Friday afternoon, my email popped up a notice to put in my password again…and I kind of freaked out on the inside although I remained composed on the outside since I didn’t need anyone to know what was going on or start throwing “solutions” at me while I was trying to think (kind of how at school if I was doing fine or if I was struggling but Mchel knew I would study in the success center, but if I was struggling and didn’t want the attention it was possible I would get if Mchel noticed I would just happen to have somewhere to be around 9:35ish am or a bit before 5pm so that she wouldn’t see me and ask me if I was okay, to which before I realized that she would do this and started avoiding her I always responded that I was, because I figured that as long as my heart was still pumping oxygenated blood then I was technically okay, and if I answered anything else I was going to be pulled away from whatever I was attempting to work on to have to try to engage with someone who would be giving me time that she may or may not have that I didn’t necessarily deserve)…oops, long tangent…anyway, that is the same thing that happened on July 10th after I had tried to apologize for a mistake I had made, so I was understandably a bit freaked out that maybe I had somehow done something wrong or that someone had changed their mind and taken away my computer access again without informing me…Since I was trying to stay calm and rational I attempted to use the password recovery tool, and I got in and changed my password, and luckily that actually worked and I was back into my account…Thank God!…I still don’t know why it happened, but I am so thankful that I was not completely locked out…Perhaps they were checking into my internet history to ensure I wasn’t making bad choices or maybe someone else used the password tool to get into my account, but in any case, I don’t really care right now, because I once again have access to my account and I have significantly bigger fish to fry at the moment…and I need to sleep…

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