Try to put the pieces together

(Free to be Me–Francesca Battistelli)

Oh my, it was a good thing I had been doing self-care yesterday…It seems things all start coming loose at the same time…First my mom keeps trying to talk to me while I am trying to write a blog post (and my parents don’t know that my blog is anything more than a private extension of my journal), then she makes me let her shave my legs (I HATE how that feels–both the process and the result…hate is a strong word, but it is certainly true in this case), then she makes me stay up late because even after all these years of trying to make me into a night owl by forcing me to stay up late and the result only ever being a crabby frustrated girl for a while until allowed to go to bed early to catch up on sleep she hasn’t given up…then my preceptor, who had previously told me that I could create my own schedule for my rotation and just let her know when I wanted to work and therefore I told her what I planned on but didn’t let her know about why I chose those hours, she emailed me as I was finally getting to bed to completely change my hours…not only are the majority of these hours really late, but there are late hours the day before and the day of my trip back to St. Louis which is not going to work for me…At my real job they know I do better work in the morning and as the night goes on I start becoming more of just a warm body than a totally functional employee, and they schedule me as such…so yeah, I intended to work 8-6 M-R each week, and as of late last night I am working super late each day I am there instead…not so happy about that, and a little concerned about my ability to function thoughtfully that late, but I don’t want to complain about it, because I know that apparently she is really over budget and probably trying to use me so that she can avoid paying another tech, so I’ll show up at my newly assigned time today and depending on how it goes see about what I’ll do about the rest of the week, but there is no question that I need to talk to her about changing my schedule for the next week since I certainly cannot work until 10pm on the day I am planning on leaving for St. Louis at 4:30am…so yeah, I am kind of frustrated with that…I want to make the most of this experience and be helpful for them, but this seems like a really bad idea, especially since it means probably going into the school year sleep deprived, which is never an ideal state in which to attempt to learn…


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