and just ’cause they all do doesn’t mean we have to act like we’re in high school

(High School–Superchick)

So this doesn’t have much to do with that lyric except that today is the first day of school…and oh my has it been a long day already…like I posted on twitter, a good time to question me would certainly not be when I am sleep deprived and have not yet had breakfast…just sayin’…so yeah after being awake most of the night crying and finally calmed down thank you for starting my school day off with more tears, I really appreciate it…(sarcasm)…

It is SO amazing to be in school without the OCD and social anxiety I have dealt with for so long…I really never realized how much I had been missing out on. It was awesome when I realized that it didn’t matter if my computer was charged because I could charge it in class, and it was also awesome that although I was distracted for other reasons that I wasn’t distracted by the anxiety of being surrounded by people again…

Class number one. Overwhelming but completed. Class number two. Similar…somewhat freaked out when derivatives and integrals started being mentioned and I realized that after being out of calculus for eight years that I recognize those words and have absolutely no idea what they mean…luckily I discovered that they didn’t play much of a role in the rest of the lecture so hopefully I can get away with not re-learning that material…

and then I found out that apparently some people were concerned about me that I might be suicidal or something from reading my blog…okay, so this was huge news to me…for one thing, I had no idea that people who actually knew me were reading my blog, and I’m not so sure how I feel about that. I don’t have anything to hide, but I kind of expected that if people were reading my blog they would discuss it with me…for the other thing, I was under the impression that the correct action to take if you were concerned about someone would be to ask them about it…I know that I have said in the past to please not ask me about it because I had a really bad experience in high school with someone accusing me of being suicidal and causing a huge scene when they knew that I was not, but okay guys, really? That many people were concerned enough about it that word got to me from someone who didn’t think that, but no one actually asked me about it to find out one way or the other?? Seriously?? Guess what, I have a comment box and I try to moderate comments at least once a day. I don’t remember what I put as my prompt for the comment box right now, but seriously the comment box is there for you to ask me questions and interact with me and I made it really easy–I allow anonymous comments so you can give or not give me whatever information you want…I do have safe commenting enabled so the filter will automatically eat comments that it thinks are spam or dangerous and I have played with the idea of auto-deleting comments with bad words in them, but for the most part I will see whatever comment you write…and if you want to talk to me about anything you see here and don’t want to post it online I have texting, phone, email, facebook, twitter, mail service, and you know face to face communication to ask me questions…

I had one other thing I wanted to write, but I should probably study instead, and I am not so sure that it is something appropriate to share with “the world”

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