Love is a smile to the lonely Love makes a stranger a friend

(Love is–Little Dogs on the Prairie)

I used to have absolutely no interest in having a boyfriend. I had never been attracted to any boys, and had decided that for the time being it was best for me not to have one. With my social challenges at the time, it didn’t seem like a good idea to have a boyfriend. I knew that I could be easily manipulated and that if someone was willing to do things for me it would 1. be easy for me to be complacent and see no reason to learn to do it myself and 2. be easy to feel trapped in a bad relationship if I didn’t want to lose the help and didn’t want to make him feel bad but knew the relationship wasn’t working…so I knew that even if I were to become attracted to a guy that it would not be good for me to get involved.

Now that I do not have those challenges and trust myself to stand up for myself and not leave myself in a bad relationship, I am ready to have a boyfriend. I am certainly not in a rush to get married–that can wait–but the more I think about it, the more I think I would like to have a boyfriend. I feel really lonely with some of my friends leaving school and most of the rest being taken away from me, and it would be nice to have someone committed to me. That is probably the wrong reason to get into a relationship, and I don’t want people trying to hook me up, but I’ve been kind of thinking about that lately…I don’t go to a very good school for finding boys though…haha yeah, and marriage is going to need to wait a LONG time since my ideal wedding is so far not something I can see a lot of people agreeing with me about…umm yeah, I doubt anyone is going to let me get married in black pants “like the ones I had in middle school that stopped fitting except with better pockets” and a red and white striped t-shirt…

and now back to my regularly scheduled studying

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