A Hero in The Eyes of God

(You’re a winner–from the musical Camp Wise’n’Up)

First off, I have been loving this musical lately, and when I was trying to patiently wait for the alarm (that chose not to go off for the third morning in a row–time for a new alarm) Friday morning I was singing this song to myself…I was going to say I was singing it inside of my head, but in reality knowing myself, I probably sang it quietly outside my head…Secondly, this song is just so good…musically it is great, but then check out some of these lyrics “You’re a winner, you’re the smile on God’s face even if you don’t win the race. He delights in the truth and he loves to hear it coming from you so let the Truth be on your tongue and in your heart. The world may say that it’s okay to lie when you’re in trouble, but don’t believe what they say ’cause it makes your trouble double.” “Yeah mates, good on ya’.”

I am still behind in school, which is a little scary, especially considering my grades so far, but I am getting better and better at realizing that grades are not the only thing in life and if mine aren’t the greatest it is not the end of the world, and I am getting more comfortable with trusting God to do what he does best: making things work together for the good of those who love him and are obedient to his words…may or may not mean good grades, but my identity does not rest on a letter on a transcript…and if it did then I’d kinda have a problem since last year’s grades were not exactly the greatest either…After talking to my academic advisor about things I somehow feel like perhaps I will someday catch up…not really sure how…I do know that the first week of school was really rough and more time was spent struggle-bussing than anything else and I really didn’t get much more than the bare essentials done during that time, so even just the fact that things outside of academics are evening out at school is probably going to help things…

I like to think that my eternal daddy is looking down and proud of the progress I have made in the past year. At the beginning of last year just getting as far as greeting people I wasn’t close to with a hi and going beyond an initial acknowledgement of recognition with people I did know was the best you were going to get from me, so to have the problem I had on Wednesday of not getting much done because I saw someone, started talking, and didn’t realize I was still talking two hours later, is pretty incredible…with who it was I kind of needed to be cautious how much longer we were talking because we were treading on thin ice between the conversational topic and the fact that IT sent her to fill the printer with paper and were probably going to wonder what was taking so long, so the conversation was put on hold, but it does feel really good to have people I can share life with…I guess excessive time spent talking is the opportunity cost to no longer struggling to have even basic communicative skills.

And last year if anyone even so much as mentioned being sick–even if it was not any time recently I went into crisis-mode…I don’t really want to go into that right now, so suffice it to say it was awful and not something I would wish on anyone ever…now: I know of someone who is moving and people have had stomach flu at the house for the past week or so and the reason I am not over there helping with the move is due to my schedule rather than due to the illness…

And I got baptized last weekend. I intentionally kept it small so as not to overwhelm myself or anything, and because I wasn’t sure who to tell since I didn’t want to bother people by making them feel like I was asking them to re-consider their plans for the weekend, but I did it…I now have had ear infections for the past few days which I am guessing is probably related since I haven’t had them in a long time, but that is a small price to pay for finally being able to follow my Savior’s command to be baptized…

So yeah, I am still busy with school, leadering Cru, TA’ing/grading, unofficially tutoring, volunteering at a community counseling center (which is probably the best thing ever for me–last year that was where I learned to meet someone “the right way” for the first time since I was starting to get basic social skills and the person I was working with didn’t have facebook and has her twitter protected–and now it gives a retreat from school to a place where I truly feel that I fit in as a member of the family even though I am only there a few hours a week and would be fairly low if we had a totem pole…I may not even be doing lay counseling but that doesn’t mean anyone treats me at all as lesser for taking on fewer roles), and various other commitments…I know I was talking recently-ish about my life goal of loving life every day, and I can honestly say that despite my school troubles that I am pretty much living the dream…As long as I can continue to pass my classes, I am on my way to graduating and being able to hold the job I have dreamed of having since childhood…obviously God can dramatically change my plans at a moments notice, but I am satisfied with where I am an confident that whatever happens will be to His glory.

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