Everything is falling into place…I’m learning

(learning to be the light–Newworldson)

This is kind of a random post because there are lots of words swirling in my head; too much to effectively study, but not enough for one coherent post…

I learn things pretty much every day…not necessarily the things I set out to learn, but that’s okay…

Like on Saturday I learned to be very careful, because if you somehow manage to burn a hole in your potholder it won’t work very well anymore…

And oh my, I learned lots of things yesterday:

  1. Even though your sandals are super convenient because they are right next to the door, you will regret walking through the snow in them.
  2. Don’t wear tennis shoes without socks for very long–it feels skwooshy (which I know is not a word, but was the best descriptor I could think of)
  3. Don’t plan your really awesome idea for your time in the conference room until you have checked whether or not the conference room is actually open for your “calm and alone time leave me alone moment)…because it makes it that much more disappointing when you pack up computer and stuff and leave your apartment to go get some internet to reserve the room and then find that it is already booked…
  4. Be aware of your surroundings…people walking their dogs do not care about the merits of the Wiconi walk t-shirt which is kind of fun because Wiconi means life in Lakota and that is something I am passionate about vs. the animal explorers t-shirt which is a heavyweight t-shirt which feels a lot better than the softblend t-shirts that a lot of my school t-shirts are and is one of my warmer t-shirts…they just think that you are kinda strange because you are having a conversation with yourself…although I talked to someone last year and we agreed that having a conversation with yourself is fine as long as when you argue you don’t lose the argument…
  5. the fact that you almost fell headfirst onto the floor is a good indication that it is not a good plan to take the railing off the bed to reach the candy on the table underneath the bed without getting off the bed…

And today I learned that it is a LOT colder when you have to scrape the snow and ice off your car for 25 minutes than it is when you are only walking from one building to another…and a corollary that it is very important to me to someday live somewhere with covered parking. I am SO thankful for having garage parking at school though so that my very mildly frostbitten fingers could warm up as I drove and not re-freeze on the walk to school from Lot B…

Also, it was extremely exciting this  morning to find someone else like me in the world…I didn’t realize how alone I felt until I found someone like me to fill the hole (As in someone else who is an early-riser instead of a night-owl)…like I really thought I was the only one…and then I also was extremely excited that girlzone (the very empty res hall lobby with a cardboard box with a hole cut for my feet to serve as a workstation was still in tact from Saturday when I was last here!!

Also, the song two houses by Matthew West has been on repeat for a while now…I am loving it so much right now. Like I really love this song lately. I love that it acknowledges that in really difficult trials in life that while there might be bright sides that come out of it, that doesn’t necessarily make up for the tragedy you are dealing with. Like, sure, two Christmases sounds awesome, but that doesn’t make up for the hurt that had to come for that to happen. (“Yeah, but all I want is the way it was”). And I identify with the phrase these two houses sure don’t feel like home. I had friends and a safe place at school that was ripped away, and now I have a location that arguably has become my spot at school, but it doesn’t feel like home. Like I can have all the houses in the world, but will still feel empty if it doesn’t feel like home. I am waiting for my eternal home in heaven, but in the mean time I would love to really have a home at school…”It sounds like everyone is moving on”: it is really hard when everyone is just going on with life to be struggling so intensely. It was hard when that was going on with my anxiety, but it is even harder now since I am struggling with something that I am less able to talk about what I am going through and what is being done to me…

So yeah…lots of random words…time for class now…

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