You live evaporated like missing a gas cap


…umm I’m not exactly sure what it means to live evaporated, but I like how it sounds…

Today I saw a police dude on a bike with a flashlight and a gun…that seemed like a really awesome job…getting paid to bike all day sounds AWESOMESAUCE to me…except then I realized that might not be such a good job for me…considering how many times I have run into a stationary object such as a traffic light pole, it seems like the chances of accidentally managing to shoot myself in the bottom are a little higher than I’d like…if I could have that job except with just the flashlight and skip the gun then it would be pretty awesome…

Speaking of police, I might have broken federal law yesterday…It says on the back of the toilet cleaner bottle that not following the directions is a violation of federal law. Something kinda makes me doubt that, because I know in Law class we definitely never talked about any laws about following the directions on the back of the toilet cleaner bottle, and I feel like it would be dumb to make a law about that because it would be nearly impossible to enforce seeing as how police don’t usually come to people’s houses to watch them clean and cleaning is kind of a solitary activity…but the directions are dumb anyway…how in the world do they expect me to time 15 seconds while squeezing the bottle and aiming at the toilet…I could probably do two of those things: either count and aim, or aim and squeeze or count and squeeze, but I can’t do all three…and it also says to wear gloves to prevent HIV…umm, I do not have HIV and even if I did I’d have to have an open wound to give it to myself, and well it wouldn’t really be a problem to give it to myself anyway since I would already have it… (I don’t read cleaner directions all the time, but I used to use the Clorox wands because the normal cleaner grossed me out too much but I ran out of those and the refills don’t seem to be sold anymore so I needed to clean the big girl way and I remembered sitting on the floor at home learning how to open and close the bottle (word to anyone who is learning this skill: do it with clothes on that you don’t mind getting cleaner on until you get the coordination right so it doesn’t get everywhere) but didn’t remember how to actually use the stuff so I kinda needed to know the basic idea of what to do…and the directions on the bottle, as it turns out, are somewhat non-specific except for that 15 second thing…)

…and speaking of cleaning, apparently I was justified in my beliefs in the past that the “cleaning” at my school is significantly lacking…I feel really blessed that I didn’t hear this until recently since hearing it a year ago would have really freaked me out, but I found out on Thursday that apparently there is so much germs in the air at school that if you make coffee one morning and leave it out overnight it will already be growing stuff, but that doesn’t happen if you do the same thing at home…I can’t really say I’m surprised…Because of how much and the times I am at school I have seen the way they “clean” and the only time I’ve seen cleaning solutions used is on the windows of the doors and a little bit of cleaner poured in the toilets occasionally…other than that they might use a little bit of water from the sink but just adopt an “if I can’t see it then it isn’t there” approach…dust gets wiped off but that’s about it…and let’s just say you REALLY don’t want to see the water that they are using to mop the bathroom floors…it is nasty brown colored before they even start and I don’t want to know why…All learning about the germs at school did for me though was make me realize that I really need to make sure my hands get washed before eating…which is something I should already be doing anyway…

…and of things I should be doing, I’m pretty sure trying to create a system to attach a basket to my oven doesn’t fall onto that list…yet I spent over an hour doing that yesterday…it started out innocently: I thought a basket would be a good way to keep the open cereal bag from being in my way all the time…except the spot I wanted to put the basket was about an inch or so smaller than the basket, so I decided to hang the basket from the oven…except I don’t have any yarn at my apartment so I was using elastic cords…which kind of stretch…so every time I thought I had it figured out I’d put stuff in the basket and realize that made it tip over…so I fixed that…and eventually it was stable and looked kinda cool…except that with all my stuff in it the cords stretched halfway to the floor…so that didn’t work…but not one to be deterred easily, my next thought was to dangle the basket from the ladder to my bed…let’s just leave it that was the worst idea I’d come up with yet…and now I have a basket with a bag of cereal in it in the way…

…but not everything I try is a failure…I was tired of my old hairbinder that looked dirty but couldn’t justify getting rid of it since there wasn’t anything objectively wrong with it…it wasn’t broken…so I fixed it: yanked on it until…SNAP…perfect!! Now I can justify new one!! 🙂


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