Hanging On As If I Love My Life

(Hanging On–Britt Nicole)

…well so much for not ever coming back to an unlocked car…did that for the first time today…which means I didn’t lock it Saturday night…probably because there was too much blood in my sugarstream relative to the events of the day, but I can’t exactly just stand around eating donuts when I already had someone wait a minute while I talked to a friend I hadn’t seen in months…

…still experiencing the after-effects of a meltdown…and even though it was a very quick meltdown that ended in probably under 5 minutes, I probably should have known I was going to need girljuice (very watered down pop or juice) today rather than a pile of candy…but this morning was kind of weird because my phone (ie more reliable alarm clock) was going off in my backpack…and also at about 3 in the morning I had managed to dump my water bottle on myself so I wasn’t really ready to get up yet…which meant that as I was getting ready for school I mostly was just thinking about making sure lunch and dinner and the proper notebooks made it to my backpack…I am hanging on…I will graduate in 2017 and while life won’t magically become perfect on that day, it will become better…no more homework…no more proving that I learned…no more stupid rules (okay, maybe a few stupid rules)…no more groups…FREEDOM!!

…but I read an article yesterday that said you should try to say no 20 times every day…so of course I said no 20 times right then BAM done…but I also said no to myself today…because when you are wearing a t-shirt and sandals and it is still slightly under 40 degrees Fahrenheit, it is not going to be a good idea to ride your bike around the quad when you get out of class early even if you are having trouble concentrating because you can’t sit still…and even if that was a good idea, it would be a lot better idea to at least attempt to do some learning…

…but on the positive side, I am super excited because self-defense club it meeting when I am available and I can definitely take a few minutes away from studying to eat a cookie and do self-defense…should I be studying? yes…but at that point I will probably need a break anyway which means an attempt at studying wouldn’t be overly successful anyway…(if anyone reading this knows about self-defense club and it doesn’t actually involve practicing, don’t tell me…I am not currently interested in expectation management…although it might be a good idea to tell me Wednesday morning, because expectation management is a Very Good Thing, just not right now…)

Peace out 🙂


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