It’s the Little Things…we may not have much, but what we have we bring…

(Little Things–JJ Heller)

Living my life is like riding an eternal rollercoaster…there are intensely negative things, but those falls are cushioned by the positives…and sometimes the littlest things can bring the biggest joys…

…it’s the “hello” from a friend interrupting a conversation to acknowledge me…

…it’s looking at my fingerprints and being so happy to have them…

…it is an adorable child in the sermon intro video…

…it is eating a cookie without sight…

…it is sweaty hands…

…it is a donut of every flavor…

…it is a meaningful conversation and an invitation to an event of a group I have no role in…

…it’s the little things that make the difference. It’s the little things that show love. It’s the little things, a simple cup of water, that can change the world, that can heal our sons and daughters, save our sons and daughters…

Socially I feel great, but one area I am not very good at is figuring out when to enter a conversation briefly and when to mind my own business and move on…it is not something that is modeled or taught very well and is rather variable, so since I missed that when I was silent and alone, I am working really hard on figuring it out, but I have not yet cracked the code…This is an area that still is pretty mysterious to me…I try…and it seems I usually am wrong…so it feels really awesomesauce when someone else takes the initiative to say hello to me…

Over spring break of second year I had to get fingerprinted…Winter break of second year was when I was doing the absolute worst with washing and had bloody hands from fingertip to wrist…it was a day that K-12 had been cancelled due to snow, and I was headed to [city a few cities away from me–it used to be the county hub I guess but now it is kinda farm-y]…I get all set up to be fingerprinted and the officer is looking at my fingerprints like something is wrong…My mom asserts that I had third degree burns on my hands as a toddler, but the officer is noticing that my fingerprints look flattened as if I am MUCH older than the 20 my license says I am…I looked at my hands today and was so thankful that I still have visible fingerprints after all my hands have been through…

I love kiddoes…my favorite is infants, the younger the better, but especially from birth to like six months, but at school I am so starved of any children at all so much of the time that even a 3-ish year old in a video makes my heart smile…if someone offered me a baby and came up with a solution for while I am taking exams, I would have a hard time turning down the offer even though my apartment would struggle to handle all the items a baby requires, and babies grow up…

I am extremely visually impaired without my glasses…I stopped being able to see the “E” on the eye chart in middle school, and my vision had just gotten worse from there…so I am prepared to one day either get surgery (which I am trying really hard to pretend I don’t need because I’d rather work than take time off for surgery…I LOVE work) or be blind…so sometimes I get a thrill when I discover that I can do something without my glasses…today it was eating a cookie…which would have probably been a lot more impressive if the cookie hadn’t already been in my hand when I took off my glasses…because it isn’t like I really need to be able to see to locate my own mouth…

Last year somewhere around this time-ish I was noticing that my hands were getting sweaty…at first it was triggering–it was a foreign sensation and felt dirty and I needed to wash it off…then I realized what it was and realized that my hands had healed enough to not be so dry as to not ever feel sweaty…now, sweaty hands is a sign of how far I have come in the past couple years…and I’ll experience it with pride and thank God for it 🙂

At church today they had lots of extra donuts, and someone else offered to give rides back to school so I was #solo…I am not bold enough to take a whole box as I see some people do, but I was bold enough to stay long enough to eat one donut with each flavor of frosting (don’t worry–there were only three flavors, because I don’t count stripes as a separate flavor)…I love my church community. First year I took an MMPI…third year someone told me what the results were and I was a bit upset to hear her say that I would fit in best in an institution–coming from a counselor I interpreted that as a mental institution, and I was appalled–I am a high-functioning pharmacy student, not some homeless girl beating people up in the streets, and okay, so I might have been fighting for my life back from anxiety, but I was independent and I could get through the day on my own Thank You Very Much…and fourth year I actually READ (okay, skimmed, I didn’t have the time to really read) the report, and it did include that I would fit in at an institution–but it inserted one key word…religious…as in, I would fit in at church…which is very true…Christians are called to love, so I do fit in best at church…

and after church, someone I would consider one of my good friends stayed to talk to me and invited me to an event that night with her community group…a group that I am most definitely not a part of, and had nothing to bring–food or otherwise…but to be included felt so incredible (even if I did have to turn it down because I can’t justify staying up late with the week that I currently have ahead of me…)

Life is a rollercoaster, and sometimes I want off, but the little funfetti sprinkles of joy make the burned edges tolerable…mixed metaphors just let me add a little fun into the day so I don’t have to get up and smell the coffee on the wall… 🙂

Happy Valentines Day…also right now I am craving watching Teen Girl Squad…but I really need to get back to learning…

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