What’s your story of wrestling with trying to be “perfect”? How is God setting you free? Linkup with Holley Gerth

Hey friends! If you’ve been around here long you know other than in the past month I don’t really do linkups…but Holley Gerth, author of You are Already Amazing, You’re Going to Be Okay, and You Were Made for a God-Sized Dream (among others) just released a new book, You’re Loved No Matter What. Disclaimer: I have not actually read any of her books, but I want to…that is on my someday list…but she is an amazingly talented blogger so I have no doubt that her books are also amazing…

I have spent a lot of my life seeking perfection…and simultaneously having quotes like “Perfection is my Enemy” adorning my room…it is kind of a contradiction, but at the same time it really has described a lot of my life…

In school, people have always assumed that everything came easily to me and that I didn’t need to study…when in reality school was a struggle and I was spending every waking minute studying…I was the one in middle school who came to swim meets equipped with a calculator, textbooks, and graph paper notebooks in plastic bags, and while other girls were drawing on themselves or whatever else middle school girls do to occupy their time, I was doing homework…and I was and still am a firm believer in the idea that days off for school were created to give students a little extra time for studying (which is why it is frustrating sometimes to take finals and then immediately go on break in college…although I do appreciate only having finals twice a year so that kind of balances it out)…and with that comes the expectation that I would always do well on every assignment…people have literally told me that they wouldn’t expect anything but A’s from me…that’s a lot of pressure not to disappoint…

I want to do well…and I really want to make sure I am doing well enough to get the residencies and jobs that I want…but really I feel no need to be perfect…

…and I am learning to accept less than even “okay” because my grades are seriously bad…(people who know me might be expecting me to say that OMGZ I have like only a 93% in some classes, but I legitimately am rocking the D range in a few classes…at the end of the day D’s get degrees, but I doubt that D’s get residencies regardless of the situation surrounding the grades…and I only have about a month of school left to get the train back on the tracks…)…when I got my first bad final grades a year and a half ago, it was frustrating, but in reality, no one hated me…although unfortunately, it didn’t change people’s expectation of me…

…but seriously, I do NOT seek perfection, but it is seriously frustrating when I try so hard for so little results…I would really appreciate if my grades could reflect how hard I worked…or at least reflect how much I knew…

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