We’re going to church on a Saturday night, oh Tomorrow’s Easter! Oh look there’s a tree and a firetruck!

(Sunday–Sadie B…yeah, I know I am kind of embarrassed to admit that I like this song…)20150405_064633

While I really appreciate when people sit by me or invite me to sit by them at church, sometimes it is really awesome too to have a whole bunch of space to myself so I can have a few seats to myself to spread out my pens so I can find the colors I need and doodle without bothering anyone (yeah, I do have an inner 2 year old…at least she’s not loud and whiney in church…just squirmy)…although being alone also makes it easier for my mind to wander…like maybe I shouldn’t have drawn the cross in black, because Easter is not ACTUALLY about random bunnies that leave you chocolate crosses and a bag of sweetart or starburst flavored jellybeans in pastel colored baskets with plastic shreds…but considering what notes I did take were relevant and on topic, I think I still paid attention well enough to count it as going to church…

Also, if you were wondering, two orange flavored pieces of candy and a bag of goldfish eaten while wandering around outside is not quite the same thing as dinner…see it was kind of a fusion of forgetting and just not bringing my dinner to school…I couldn’t decide what I wanted to eat for dinner and gave myself 10 minutes to figure it out before I gave up and saved packing dinner for later…and then later came and went and I was out the door without it, and I figured it’d be fine, because there were going to be snacks at church if I needed anything…and I was so tired still from how late I was out on Thursday that I could push breakfast back a while without noticing much, which allowed lunch to be pushed back which meant that with the “dinner” I had I wasn’t really hungry until like almost the end of the service by which point I didn’t really wanna go home and eat seeing as how that also would mean trying really hard to be productive…

…yeah, about that whole snacks at church thing, I no longer feel anxiety stopping me, but old habits die hard, and I still tend not to eat in new situations, and in situations in which I habitually didn’t eat when I was experiencing anxiety…it isn’t all bad to still not feel able to eat though—it used to feel awful because I desired the food so much yet couldn’t have it and it was just really hard to yearn so much for something yet have an insurmountable barrier standing in my way…now I might kind of want it, but it really isn’t a big deal that the switch in my brain that goes from wanting it to obtaining it is still not functioning…I am also pretty used to providing my own snacks because of that issue, and now with how things are at school I am also very used to being sure to pack plenty of candy every day…

I was a greeter at my church at school for the first time, and it was awesome. I loved it! I got there way too early (like an hour before the service started…oops…) and ended up hanging out outside for a while and met someone new and discovered how lousy I am at conversing with a stranger…room for growth…going to a tiny school makes there be some situations that I don’t encounter with enough frequency to really know how to respond yet…but anyway, it was fun, and way easier now than ushering was in 9th grade…and at this church handing out bulletins, counting people, passing offering baskets, and counting money are not all the same job, so I only had to learn one new set of procedures instead of learning a billion things at once…easy peasy 🙂 …so yeah, that is something I am going to have to find a time to do again…It was really fun and fulfilling, and also it reminded me of old church at home in a good way…

Also, I crashed on top of my computer yesterday…so much for studying…but life goes on…


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