I’m Finally Free!!!!!

(Finally Free–Nichole Nordeman)

Life Lessons from mostly today and one from Thursday…

Don’t put your phone in your mouth…besides how disgusting it is when you think about that, it kinda feels like you’re choking…yet somehow I manage to continue to do it anyway…

Don’t scream FREEDOM until you’re sure no one is around to hear you…not that I did that or anything…okay fine…so it might have happened twice…within the span of about half an hour…but in my defense it was after an hour of sitting still so I had way more energy than I knew what to do with…

Don’t use waiting room chairs as gymnastic toys…mostly just because you are not 5 years old anymore and I don’t want you to get caught acting like that…but also because there is a brief adrenaline rush that occurs when the chair starts to tip over, and that kind of adrenaline rush makes you start to brainstorm more stupid activities that I have to keep you from acting on…like tasting your shoes…ummm NO, girlyQ…OFF LIMITS!!

Oh, and don’t decide that coffee tastes so good that you just need to have it even though you know it makes you sick unless you can sleep it off…’cause when you are halfway home and feel like you are going to simultaneously fall asleep and throw up that is no fun…so unless you can get the timing right so you can be asleep in bed before the nausea kicks in, just don’t do it…

Oh yeah, and don’t run around in parking lots barefoot…because I said so…and you can take off your shoes, but you can’t take off your feet…

Listen to yourself…when someone comments on how you’re sitting still and you think to yourself yeah, but at the end of this hour I will have used up my ability to sit still and every Saturday I am here I am running in circles after and sitting still in church later is pretty much impossible and I cannot do it and will be wiggly throughout the entire service and have a really hard time staying in my seat and not bothering the people around me…if you were listening to this correctly instead of hearing congratulations you would hear: I have a short period every day that I really can sit still if I need to so I should intentionally capture that time for something that really matters and let myself get up every 5 minutes if needed when it won’t hurt anything…

Please act like a 22 year old instead of a 12 year old and wash your makeup off with water plus or minus soap instead of by rubbing it off with your fingers…

Oh yeah, and don’t wear the same dress shirt for four occasions in a row, because especially when it is like a billionty trillion degrees in your car it starts smelling like sweat…plus it is not so good when those four events include church two weeks in a row and school events on consecutive days…

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