It’s All But a Breath in the Grand Scheme of Things

(Different Kind of Free–ZoeGirl)

I love this lyric…this isn’t exactly the direction the song goes, but for me, this phrase is an incredible reminder that although hard and painful circumstances might seem all-consuming and never-ending, but eventually whether in this life or in heaven, those trials will have been alleviated, and when you consider that I have all of eternity to walk with my maker, the years of my physical life seem to be reduced to barely a mention. Ultimately, things that seem right now to have lasted a LONG time will eventually be just a teeny tiny part of my reality and my story.

Oh, and I am a day late, but am linking up with Holley Gerth again for the release of You’re Loved No Matter What: Freeing Your Heart from the Need to Be Perfect. The prompt is: Where have you seen beauty from brokenness?

One of my strengths when I took a strengthsfinder test first year was developer. That means, among other things, that I recognize and derive satisfaction from small amounts of progress. I think it is incredibly beautiful how although there has been a lot of pain and brokenness in my life, particularly over the past two years, that I am still thriving and learning to move past.

Today was an incredible day and there isn’t much of it I would change given the opportunity…except maybe a bit more focused studying…and perhaps a bit more sunscreen…’cause the sunscreen works better if you put it on BEFORE you start burning…luckily I burned enough that I am a bit uncomfortable, but not enough that it is excruciatingly painful…which is especially important considering how much time I will be spending in the car to go home in a little over a week…

So yeah, I had to walk around some puppies to get to the res hall after class and then to go put my shoes in my car before I lost them and because I struggle not to wear my heart on my sleeve, I was almost crying because I wanted so much to play with them and didn’t know if I could…so yeah…and then I found out I could and got to play with them and it was super exciting, and like five minutes later it was time to eat lunch with some of my friends, and I took a lot of breaks from eating to play with the dogs some more…and it was so fun to hang out with my friends for a while…and I found a bird on the sidewalk, and I wanted to play with it, and I kind of knew that like bunnies outside it probably wouldn’t let me play, but as it turned out, it did let me pick it up…it wasn’t a fan of being picked up with one hand but when I used two hands it seemed okay with it. I brought the birdie over to my friends and one of my friends took a turn holding it for a while…we were deciding what to do with the bird because it was super cute when I guess the bird got tired of being petted and photographed by a group of college students and flew away…here is a picture of the bird after its escape, sitting in a tree…isn’t it adorable?!


I then talked/played with puppies some more. Then my friends had to go to class, and I found a lot more friends outside…then I realized I’d been wasting time for about two hours and tried to get some studying in…with breaks for more puppies…and then a break for ice cream and juice and more social time…and now I am at the place I volunteer which I will deeply miss when I have to leave since I will likely not be back until August (assuming I am able to find the time to return in the fall)…

I am missing an event I kind of wanted to go to tonight, but I can’t do everything…and it requires being quiet for 49 seconds, and TBH, anyone who really knows me would likely be able to discern that I probably wouldn’t be overly successful at being quiet that long…but I really wish I could be there…partly because I want to, and partly because I feel really guilty missing events that I feel like I should be at…and as the secretary of self-defense club, I really ought to be at their special event.

So anyway, the fact that I even wanted to be at an event like this is awesome. Eighteenish months ago, the people everywhere would have been too much for me to handle instead of being invigorating. Twelveish months ago, looking at the dogs would have been fun, but there is no way that I would have touched them unless it was a social requirement, and even then I would have left to wash my hands as soon as it was socially acceptable…Actually, today was watermelon bash, and on the day of watermelon bash last year, I couldn’t go outside because there were too many people, and I was inside and held a puppy’s leash for a few minutes until her owner could put her away, and even that I was touching as little as possible and washed my hands ASAP once the leash was taken away…when the dog escaped a little later, I was thrilled to play with it, but back then “play” didn’t involve touching…luckily she (the puppy) was okay with that and was reasonably responsive to my commands, and the people whose office she went in before I could stop her were very gracious and stopped to pet her instead of acting like I was bothering them and probably should have been more-hands-on in my watching the puppy…and I am not going to describe the rest of the night because it is kind of embarrassing to talk about how I was crying at one point but couldn’t use my words to explain what was happening…but anyway…it was super awesome to be able to play with including touching the puppies and really only wipe my hands off on my shirt before eating…oh, and weeks ago just knowing who had the potential to be there would have left me wondering if I *really* had to eat lunch and see my 5th year friends or if I could just stay inside and pretend I didn’t notice how hungry I was…

I have a lot more to say, but it is far past time to get back to studying. I love my friends.


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