Many hearts will mend here

(Build a Barn–Stephanie Pauline 🙂 )

One thing I have learned in life is that it is important to learn how to build a bridge…not a physical bridge, although I can certainly see the utility in building a physical bridge in certain situations…but the kind of bridge you need to build to get over it…Yeah, people die and other assorted bad things happen in life, but staying sad and/or frustrated and/or angry does no one good. It won’t bring anyone back from the dead (barring miracles). It won’t reverse the past. It won’t really change anything but souring future experiences (actually, that doesn’t sound so bad…I LOVE sour patch kids), and painting your world with an ugly paintbrush. Staying upset isn’t necessary to prove that what someone did to you was hurtful, and it only will keep you on the side of hurt looking through the fence at everyone else having fun when you want to scream how can you act like everything is normal, be having fun, when my world is crashing…but the world is crashing for someone somewhere every single day and the rest of the world goes on as if nothing has changed. As long as my heart continues to pump oxygenated blood, life will go on, I will be okay, and I will figure out how to build a bridge and get over it. Being sad/hurt/angry is normal and totally expected, but you can’t stay there…you gotta build a bridge back to happy-land. Maybe some days you cross back over to the sadness or sit on the bridge numb, or lay across it totally confused and at odds at the exhilaration and desperation you feel all at the same time, but without the bridge you stay stuck, spiraling down down down, the grooves getting deeper and deeper as the marble rolls through the sand over and over and over…until you can’t even see out anymore and it seems like that sad, desolate world is the only one that exists, that ever existed, that will ever exist…until something comes along and shakes your world and either the marble of your life is buried on the bottom, or re-emerges on the top again with a fresh start…Building a bridge and getting over it isn’t denial, it is the cautious actions leading up to acceptance, giving the opportunity to decide each day whether to cross the bridge…some people think “build a bridge and get over it” is harsh, but in my opinion, a lot of people, myself included need more than JUST empathy…empathy without a push or at least extra eyes and hands to solve the immediate problem is kind of empty…if I just failed and you totally get it, because you have failed before and your story ends with and then everything was awful forever and ever and the world ended, that might feel good, for a while, but it eventually falls flat and lets both of us feel sorry for ourselves together…but that same story ending with and now it is still hard some days but other days it is okay because it gave the perspective needed to (fill in the blank) or it led to a new opportunity to (fill in the blank) or whatever else, now you are not only connecting but providing a light at the end of the tunnel that for the first time might not be a train…

Also, I made minion cupcakes last week…my mom did the yellow frosting, so I don’t take the blame for the mess ups there, and I recognize it would look awesomer with blue frosting, but my mom doesn’t allow food coloring because it is too messy, and I could only pick out one color frosting and one color for decorations, so neon yellow was my pick…

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