Not on the Sorrows I have Known

(Upon a life I did not live–Indelible Grace)

Things I like

I like that I have awesome-sauce friends.

I like that sometimes my lousy reading skills allow me to have huge breakthroughs…for example, for the past two weeks I have been trying to figure out what exactly “must rehab new see” meant…is it a visual therapy place that sign is for with such weird phrasing? Every day I saw this boldly lettered sign and wondered…until I discovered that it actually said “new rehab must see.” Still don’t know what kind of rehab the sign is pointing me towards, but it sure does make a whole lot more sense with the words in the correct order.

I like that I am so known for my silliness and sarcasm that when I was asked if I had someone to sit with and said yes that the person I was asked by double checked to make sure it wasn’t her before walking away…

I like that I tutor anatomy in the car and quietly at church and it doesn’t occur to me at all until later that most people aren’t talking about things like epithelial cells and protein synthesis at church…but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Tutoring is what allowed me to start making friends my own age at school, and so being a little weird at church is a small price to pay for the gift of friendship that tutoring gave me…although, it would be pretty awesome if I could get paid for my time doing that though…there was someone who told me second year that I should just stay clocked in whenever I am awake because I seemed to never stop tutoring (and it was kind of true, I couldn’t walk down the hall to the bathroom without people asking me questions, and during breaks in class I was usually spending that 10 minutes tutoring someone, and pretty much if I was awake people would show up at my room or wherever I was to ask questions or they would email or facebook their questions to me…but I only ever counted as tutoring time the times when the face to face session was confirmed via email and scheduled to last at least an hour…)

Speaking of being weird at church, I love that no one at church cares that I can’t sit still to save my life…mostly I try to sit still, but on the days when I am moving too much, no one seems to mind. I like that people at church have accepted me for who I am instead of complaining that I don’t fit into the mold.

I like that the shock factor of all the really dirty places we “wouldn’t expect to be germy” was totally lost on me…yeah, you didn’t really prove your point with me there pastor; have severe contamination OCD for a while, and you definitely can pick out the germiest locations. I no longer worry about germs, but I am not going to be at all surprised when you tell me that most people’s phones are extremely germy or that soap dispensers tend to be extremely germy…or that restaurant ketchup bottles are gross…umm duh…have you seen what people do to those things? #notsurprised #SOmanypeopleatschooltextandplaygamesontheirphonesinthebathroom …yeah…shock value lost on me. I am so thankful that I no longer have to deal with that, because when you have OCD, not only do you see those disgustingly germy places, but you also see how the germs there are transported everywhere else contaminating essentially the entire world…I mean, there are even germs that can proliferate in a bottle of bleach, so the world is a horribly dangerous and terrifying place from that perspective and pretty unredeemable…luckily I know longer live in that dingy prison of a world and can see that yes, there are germs in the world, but no, getting sick is not going to destroy my life, because yes, I do now have the social skills to handle being sick…I’m sure it is not fun, but possible to manage…

I like that I discovered that school has sugar packets so I don’t really need to bring my own sugar…but I also really like that I also remembered that I will likely throw my sugar out at the end of the year anyway since I don’t really want to move out with sugar and flour, so I might as well just pack my own so it doesn’t go to waste.

I like that I started a trend. I was the second person to send an “I’m creating an email list, reply to stay in the loop” email…so you’d think it wasn’t me starting the trend…but it so was…the first one was sent out in the late morning…mine was sent out in the late afternoon…but as soon as I sent mine, suddenly a bunch of other people sent out similar messages, but they imitated my phrasing and structure rather than the stylistic pattern of the person who did it first… #trendsetting

I tried dark chocolate in my oatmeal a few days ago and I really liked that…so good.

I like that although I know I do need deep connecting friendships, that sometimes I still define friendship pretty similarly to the way in which it was defined when I was in high school…a friend was anyone I could say hi to at least like 50% of the time if I passed them in the hallway…I didn’t have that many friends, and those I had clearly didn’t last very well…but like Saturday morning I met someone and we shook hands and I immediately declared that I had made a new friend…yeah, it might be someone I will only see a few more times in my entire life, but she was super nice and I liked her.

I also really like this article… http://www.healthcaredive.com/news/the-16-most-absurd-icd-10-codes/285737/ …I laughed SO hard reading it…

I like that the sermon this week was about how God loves food, and we should be inviting people into our homes to eat…I have been playing for a long time with the idea of inviting a few people over to my apartment for dinner…I am time limited and space limited which is what has put the ix-nay on even really seriously considering it, but after hearing the sermon I started to wonder if I really could do that…perhaps to celebrate my birthday or something…and if anyone I invited would even come…and that led to thinking about how there are a lot of really awesome people in my life, but they are mostly pretty compartmentalized, but I really wish sometimes that I could bring them all together, because there are some of them from totally different aspects of life that I think would absolutely love each other…

I like that yesterday I was screaming in the car because it was HOT (hello greenhouse effect…) and then I looked in the mirror and determined that I had a beautiful uvula…and proceeded to admire it for 5 more minutes…y’all, if you haven’t ever took the time to look at your uvula you so should…it’s pretty awesome…(the uvula is the stick down thing at the back of the soft palate…I think its job is to keep food/drink from going the wrong direction and ending up in your nasopharynx and nasal cavity)

I like that this morning I haven’t checked my email yet…’cause I said I would upload our case at 6am, except I got to school at 5:59 because getting here in time to actually submit by 6am would have required not spending 27 minutes reading scary mommy before getting up…so I got the case submitted at 6:02…and then before I got on email I figured I’d finish this post and put it up…’cause I love myself and I know I am going to be frustrated if I get nothing done all day because I’d rather edit than study…

Things I don’t like:

I don’t like when I forget to lock my apartment door…not because I am afraid of people getting in and doing anything to it…I still naïvely believe that people are mostly good even though a lot of my lived experience should tell me that is not true…no, I don’t like it because it is frustrating when I get home and turn my key in the door until it clicks but it won’t open…because that click was a lock rather than an unlock…that whole righty-tighty lefty-loosy thing doesn’t really work, because keys twist rather than slide, which means that while half the key is moving to the right, the other half is moving to the left, so it isn’t very helpful to know that little rhyme, because it only applies to half the key, and if I knew which half that was then clearly I wouldn’t have this problem…

I don’t like sunburn. So at the resource fair I got kind of burned…and by kind of I mean my back and shoulders were blistery and are still itchy and peeling now…sometimes I say I don’t like outside, but that isn’t totally true. Outside is where the sun burns me and where I get all itchy and stuff, but on Friday I spent some time outside while I was eating, and being outside and being in the shade but able to see the sun was SO nice…but anyway, outside hurts…

Apparently this year facebook is no longer cool and now the cool thing is group me…which is really just group texting except random number shows up instead of the names of the people in the group so you don’t know exactly with whom you are chatting…that isn’t my problem with it though…my problem with it is that it makes my phone explode with texts all the time…and a lot of them are really only directed at one person so there is really no reason I should be included, or it is two people entertaining themselves by saying hi to each other over. And over. And over…I am used to texts being almost solely things that needed my immediate attention, and I don’t like the constant disruption of my phone lighting up with another text and I don’t like having to sort through the crap to make sure I read the important texts, and I don’t like the idea of just turning my phone off, because I do like to reachable for emergencies.

I don’t like that there was no soap in the bathrooms at school on Saturday (well at least in the girl bathroom…I didn’t check the boy bathroom because I am not a boy…and that on Sunday someone had replaced the soap but installed it wrong so the soap wouldn’t come out and I couldn’t figure out how to take apart the dispenser in the res hall bathroom to fix it…the Whelpley ones were easy: just a good bump in the middle and they opened up, but even pressing on the indented places didn’t work this time…frustrating…Maybe it’s just me, but I kinda like to wash my hands after using the bathroom…actually, based on my experience in public restrooms I can say with some assurance that at least 75% of people at least give lip service to the idea of hand washing even if they clearly aren’t REALLY washing their hands…(Y’all, getting your hands wet and drying them is not actually the same thing as using soap and rubbing it on your hands and rinsing it off…we seem to have a lot of grown adults who have not yet figured that one out…)

I also do not like that I do not have any babies or children at home to play with…I crave kid time…but considering that I am a full-time unmarried student, not having any babies of my own is probably something I should continue to live with…’cause buying kids is expensive and raising kids whether purchased or birthed is time consuming…and expensive…

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