And Though Nobody Can Rock What You Rock

(Mister DJ—Superchick)

Yeah, everyone has their own skillset, and mine does not include domestic diva-ship…if it weren’t obvious from the fact that doing dishes usually requires changing clothes and at least considering mopping the floor because the floor, the counter, and I end up soaked (This is why I try to vacuum before doing dishes so I am ready to mop if I decide that is the best option based on the size of the puddle I created…). Someday I might consider moving into either a house or an apartment with a dishwasher that is a thing, not a person. (Which reminds me of the scene in Discovery at Camp Wise’n’up when the next item on the list is something cool and RJ says “I be cool” and someone else says “I think it has to a THING RJ, not a person.”)

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Scene 1: See this cup of original cheerios? I almost put it sideways into my lunchbox. That would have been fine if it had some kind of cap on it, but as you can see, I did not place a cap on it…It might sound like a success that I didn’t actually do that…but the domestic fail is that there are other times that I definitely did do something like that…about a year ago that resulted in cleaning oil off the floor when it didn’t occur to me to not start pouring until I was over something…oil is really hard to clean up…

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Scene 2: Doesn’t everyone store their paper shredder, suitcase with swimming sticker, file box, cards, and Yellowstone ice cream carton with Mental Health Unity sticker and healthy mind healthy body tree sticker in the shower?…Oh, just me?…(Actually, in my defense, I do not usually store those items there, but it is kind of important when you invite people over to make the chairs accessible…I had my very first birthday party since 6th grade (when I only invited two people over…and that was all the people I knew well enough to invite…)…and the very first party that felt successful that I ever planned…also the second party that I ever planned…the first being a Christmas party my junior year in high school…and my best friend came and brought one other person and they came an hour late and could only stay like 20 minutes…which was awesome, but even with my limited social prowess at the time, I knew that wasn’t how Christmas parties were supposed to be. She tried really hard to make my party a success by calling and texting everyone to try to convince them to come (not that I think she originally intended for me to know that) and gently suggesting I consider just having some special time with my family but she couldn’t force people to hang out with me who didn’t want to, and she couldn’t change the fact that some people had other commitments…So yeah. This party was AWESOME!!!!! I have the bestest friends ever. I probably need to ask them what I did right and what I did wrong, but I was thrilled with it! I really am blessed with awesome friends. As of the beginning of fourth year, I had no reason to be in the state that school is in and was really just passing time until I could go back home where I belong and had/have amazing friends…gradually I have gotten to the point where I am now, a year later, where there are some people that I will be thrilled to get away from, but there are others whom I will miss very much).

Scene 3 (sorry, no pic): Sometimes clothes or other items are on the floor because I am irresponsible and lazy…however, a lot of the time they are on the floor because I am trying not to walk out the door without them in the morning…when these two categories get mixed together, unfortunately, it is bad news…which is why Friday morning I walked into something (that ought to have been put away) on the way to turning on the lights and got frustrated at myself and started putting everything away…which would have been awesome except that it meant that I had to go back to my apartment three times to collect all the things I forgot to bring to school with me…one of those times when I was all the way at school already…

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Scene 4: It made a lot of sense to me to shove everything I wanted to wash in one load to save time since I get distracted watching the washing machine spin…if your laundry basket is overflowing and is larger than the inside of the washing machine you should probably know without trying that this time saving mechanism is NOT going to work…but considering it took me almost a month into school to figure out that if there was a particular parking spot I had trouble getting out of that maybe I should stop parking in it, obviously there are probably going to be a few other obvious factor connections that I somehow miss…side note, it probably isn’t such a good idea to use your hands and feet to shove three loads into the washer at once even for the sake of a picture, because it makes it rather difficult to pull it all out to start over…but I am all about efficiency which is why I scooped seven bowls of ice cream in the morning and covered six of them with foil. I would have kept scooping, but the freezer was quickly running out of space since bowls of ice cream don’t exactly stack. We aren’t going to talk about how many of those bowls still had ice cream in them by the end of the day…but in my defense, Sundays are the day I try to reserve for being at my apartment alone all day, which tends to give me easy access to whatever I want to put in my piehole…on a similar note, of course I utilize the fitness center! Where else would I go when I needed some hand sanitizer but didn’t want to go all the way back home for it?

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Scene 5: This is actually a picture of success…I might not know how to do all the fancy things that other girls do, but I can rock braids and pony tails…basically if it involves a clip of any kind or requires any kind of skill level I probably either don’t know how to do it or else I verbally could talk someone through it but couldn’t do it myself…there’s a reason I mostly try to explain how to dissect cats and pigs rather than doing it myself…not that I sliced my hand open doing dissection on raw chicken in high school or anything…oh wait…yeah I did…as it turns out, yes you can get a lot better grip on the chicken and on the scalpel if you hold them in a fist grip, but it also places your hands in prime location to be cut as soon as you slip (or successfully make a cut, but in my case, slip)…

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Scene 6: You are looking at my attempt at lighting birthday candles…yes, by lighting a wadded up notecard using the burners on the stove and then transferring the fire to the candles…I thought I had this all figured out: I couldn’t directly light the candle with the burner because it would just melt and make a mess. Regular paper wouldn’t hold its shape long enough to safely light a candle, and newspaper would burn too fast…As it turns out, notecards can be lit by a burner, but do not hold that tiny spark of a fire long enough to light a candle. Looking back, I am probably very lucky that I wasn’t willing to part with my matchbox from my old church at home, because something tells me that trying to light the striking part of the matchbox may have provided me with a little more fire than I bargained for…and the fact that I even considered the idea of sacrificing my matchbox to light it on fire is probably why my mom doesn’t want me to buy matches…

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Bonus scene 7: Can you tell to whose apartment this belongs? A domestic diva probably makes homemade treats…but I am quite content with packaged candy…and am super thrilled that I am sure I am done buying candy for the rest of the semester and maybe even the whole rest of the year!! My friends know me pretty well…like my mom says, the way to my heart tends to be through my stomach…obviously there are other ways to get on my nice list that are probably more age-appropriate ways to form friendships (And I can say with some assurance that I am wise enough to realize that there are some people that even if they tried to enter my life through my stomach that I would still be able to say no, you are not invited. It is possible to go from bad list to nice list, but it is certainly not going to happen overnight, nor is it going to happen via a bag of skittles, and it is going to be a slow and cautious process. Kind words go a lot further than donuts. I now know that it is not okay for people to hurt me, and I am not responsible for fixing bad people. Showing them the love of Christ and letting them hurt me are two very different things. I tried to take this picture with me in the middle of all the candy, but my arms weren’t long enough to get my head and the candy in the same picture…but I saw a totally adorable picture of a baby surrounded by a pile of syringes in a heart shape on TheMighty and it was pretty much the cutest thing ever…

I didn’t actually intend to ever write these last two paragraphs…they just kinda happened…I’m just going to admit right now that they are moderately less G rated…your choice whether or not to keep reading…don’t say I didn’t warn you…

Also, homework doesn’t do itself while the sour patch kids play on my laptop…sometimes I get frustrated when I have wasted all the way from 5am until lunch time…but it’s going to be okay…I don’t have to get A’s or even B’s; I just need to pass. (Or at least that is what I keep telling myself in between telling myself to learn how to focus…)

I think news about people getting killed gets boring because duh, we know there are bad people in the world and we know that (in the words of superchick) ‘everyone dies but not everyone lives’, so why don’t we report on the good people in the world…so I prefer news stories like this one: http://www.mommyish.com/2015/10/08/doctors-reattach-decapitated-toddlers-head/ . Yep, puts a whole new meaning on making sure your head is on straight! In the mom’s words “You can’t replace someone that you love.” At the end of the day you just have to build a bridge and get over it. Cherish the time you have with the people you love and then learn to let go because eventually whether 10 seconds from now or 10 decades from now one of you will die, ’cause that’s how life works until God comes back…(See, I can figure out all on my own how to put the pieces together…tell me I’m not grieving and I’ll figure out how to make it true…and it pretty much worked for me…be sad then get over yourself…but it is still totally legit in my world to be angry about the assignment that was cancelled less than 24 hours before it was due after being assigned for an entire week…that and/or the quiz that was cancelled the same day were on topics that I didn’t miss a single point on the entire semester and would therefore have gotten me that last point that I needed to get the grade I wanted…yep, still bitter about that…you can’t cancel an entire assignment and quiz because some irresponsible people haven’t started yet and don’t wanna do it because well guess what?! I didn’t want to spend the 30ish hours on it that I spent either, but I actually DID the assignment, and if we’re going to go into the territory of other things going on in life you might want to revise your argument right now because you are going to lose hardcore…yeah, there is a weird system that has been created in my mind where it is totally cool to be upset years later about grades but you better grow up and realize that you are not God and realize that you don’t get to pick when people die.)

I didn’t actually intend to ever write these last two paragraphs…they just kinda happened…I’m just going to admit right now that they are moderately less G rated…your choice whether or not to keep reading…don’t say I didn’t warn you…

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