(not a song, just the words of advice that came out of my mouth when I was done whimpering about how much that hurt last night when I was too tired to remember how to properly remove hairbinders).
The problem with over-tiredness is that by the time I start needing to decide that it is time to be done, it is past the point at which I have the awareness to quickly pick up on the cues. Around 8 to 8:30 my awareness/cognitive level begins to deteriorate to get ready to shut down and sleep for the night…which means the early signs that I have been up late are likely to be missed when my brain is already tired from all the thinking involved in studying and stuff all day (and running as fast as I can to get to class on time only to find that the guest lecturer is missing…my breathing muscles are still sore and telling me not to do that again).
So I didn’t notice the problem when staying seated was more preferable than standing up long enough to get pizza.
I didn’t notice when I seriously considered the hard floor outside the elevator as a possibility for sleeping instead of going home.
I did, however, notice when it started seeming like a good idea to attempt to shove a PIBA in a can of pop with caffeine in the morning…luckily I was smart enough to realize that I would greatly regret that pretty much immediately.
If that hadn’t been the realization that I couldn’t keep doing this, I probably still would have missed that the screaming in the car wasn’t simply excited screaming but stir-crazy screaming…
…but I would have noticed when I almost decided to turn to go over to where I saw a police dude pull over a guy for running a red light and try to convince him that it was probably an accident or an emergency and to take me instead of the other guy…it is a good thing I am smart enough not to act impulsively like that, because something tells me that wouldn’t go over very well…(yeah, I know I have a problem with my heart being a little too big sometimes…I’m working on it).
So…primary lesson learned: back to putting an alarm in my pocket like I did in high school to remind me that it is time to leave. At that time it was because I was trying to accept a new church but was for sure not going to do that at the expense of anything going on at “my real church.” Now, it seems like a really good idea because I am willing to sacrifice a little extra time for Cru because doing it late at night worked better for everyone else, but I really can’t give up more than the allotted time, because that’s when , to quote Francesca Battistelli, “the crazy kicks in.” Even if the lack of sleep doesn’t lead to bigger issues, the craziness makes my impulsive desires seem like better ideas, and in turn makes me feel like a bad person, and that is not good.
Also, I found this abstract online, and I was intrigued to know more…but paying money to read it ain’t worth it.