We’re Walking Into the Forest

(Kick Drum Heart–Avett Brothers)

In my law book there was a story about a woman who didn’t receive the birth control she was supposed to at a pharmacy and as a result got pregnant and had a healthy child. The book uses this as an example of compensation, putting the “victim” in the position in which he or she would have been had the action not taken place—the pharmacist was required to pay the cost of pregnancy and raising the child.


I find that a really lousy example. Without getting pregnant she would not have had the sweet experience of the deepest love one can ever experience: holding a sweet, beautiful, healthy, newborn child. Sure, kids are expensive and she wasn’t planning on one yet, but if the pharmacist is paying the full costs it seems to me like she is getting a double benefit: she gets to keep both the kid and the money…jackpot!! I am not advocating that we should take babies away from their parents, but it seems to me that the joy of a child should be most of the compensation she gets and so the pharmacist should only have to pay maybe half of the costs, because yeah, she intended to not get pregnant, but let’s get real, there’s a pretty good chance that she had a copay on her prescriptions and would have been paying something for a while anyway…and how do you not notice that your birth control looks totally different than it has before?! I am also not advocating that pharmacists can fill prescriptions with whatever they want—that is clearly wrong too.


Anyway, that got me thinking about how a lot of people have asked my position on dispensing birth control. I believe that murder is wrong whether it occurs in an adult or an unborn child. While philosophically people argue about when life begins, biologically, it is not up for discussion whether or not life begins when the sperm meets the egg. Oral contraceptives act by preventing implantation of the zygote (egg+sperm), thus ending the pregnancy long before it is detectable. For this reason, I believe that oral contraceptives should not be used if a patient intends to exercise use of their baby-making parts without further protection. I will not refuse, however, to dispense birth control for a few reasons. First, some people are using it in a legitimate way for conditions totally unrelated to killing babies and have no intention of utilizing its other function and it isn’t practical to sort through that at the time of dispense. Second, if I don’t give it to them, I am legally obligated to ensure they have another way to get it if they want it, so it doesn’t really do anything but make me a jerk if I say no. Third, legally, it is acceptable to use birth control regardless of what you want to do with it, and my freedom ends where yours begins. I don’t really think it is my place to act as God and tell you what you can and can’t do. I do know people who refuse to sell it, but in my opinion, it makes more sense to just do it.


On a totally different note, I saw this hilarious statement on a blog recently: “Remember to treat your password like your toothbrush. Share it with no one and change it often.” The article also gave a lot of easy to remember passwords which were supposed to be ones they didn’t recommend, but I looked and decided those seemed like good ideas for this girl with an excess of information competing for limited spaces in her head.


Sometimes I feel lazy (one of my friends would comment that lazy isn’t a feeling…)…but the vast majority of the time I am not really being lazy even if I feel that way…when I wake up and can’t keep my eyes open long enough to type in my whole password to my email before the screen goes dark again and I have to try again, that is probably a good sign that I still have sleep to catch up on rather than that I am lazy…and if the test is pass fail and I can finish in 25 minutes without checking my work and the only consequence for failing is probably going to be re-taking it over spring break when I am not so squished for time anyway, it makes a lot better sense to turn it in and get outta there. It isn’t lazy, it is time management…and besides, everyone needs a break, even me…


Side note number 3: When I totally wasn’t distracted (okay fine, yes I was) I found a document on my computer labelled story. It was an article I had written first year when psychcentral put out a call for personal descriptions of what counseling is like. It was a good reminder to be thankful for what I have, because everything I have is a gift that I worked for. It has been a long time since the days of it being an accomplishment to say hi to a friend. On the other hand, it made me mourn the loss of naïve trust and innocent belief that people would always have pure motives to help me…and I wish I still could believe that self-advocacy is effective…originally I wrote a lot more than this, but I couldn’t decide if it was internet appropriate, so I decided to delete it…also, I discovered this week that someone posted my name, cell phone number, school, and email address on the world wide web for anyone to see…if that same someone wasn’t already calling me twice a day I would complain, but since I don’t want any more intrusion into my life, I am just being frustrated inside my head (and on here)…thank God that I finally figured out how to auto-reject the calls though! Thrilled about that!


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