You are All I Need

(Sing me a Love Song Again—BarlowGirl)

This week has had a lot of frustration, but God is totally in it. I am so blessed. For every bad thing there has been at least one good thing without which I would have ended up completely crushed. Instead I couldn’t fall asleep last night because while my body was exhausted, my brain was still on overdrive jumping up and down laughing and smiling…joy was overflowing…I suppose it is a good problem to have despite being a bit annoying when I finally fall asleep just in time for the alarm to go off…

Doesn't everyone clean their glasses with lemon scented bathroom cleaner when they get home?...also, I don't want to eat whoever's lemons thought that this cleaner smells like lemon...it doesn't even smell like chemically-lemon
Doesn’t everyone clean their glasses with lemon scented bathroom cleaner when they get home?…also, I don’t want to eat whoever’s lemons thought that this cleaner smells like lemon…it doesn’t even smell like chemically-lemon

So yeah, yesterday went swimmingly…my stupid glasses fell in the toilet. (Lol, swimmingly…toilet…I had to call my dad as soon as I got out of class to share the humor). It could have been so much worse though. See, I got to school in the morning and since it was a Thursday, and not only that, but the Thursday after forgetting to turn in an important assignment, was both mildly sleep deprived and a bit stressed out. Within the first 10 minutes of being at school I had washed my hands 7 times in addition to using hand sanitizer multiple times. So clearly, the early part of the day was not going super well and would have ended in major crisis if the incident had happened earlier. My actual response later in the day when it happened: “Oh no.” And then I thought for a second if I really needed them. Answer: yes, I probably can’t even make it back to the res hall after class without them not to mention that sometimes in class it is necessary to be able to see more than an inch or two in front of my eyes. So I picked them up, super thankful that they were brightly colored so at least I didn’t need to feel around on the floor first and could easily find them…and also thankful that I could get to the sink to wash my glasses without wearing them. It was a good thing I had intended to get to class early to study for a few minutes, because that gave me enough time to wash my glasses with soap and water like ten times and find a hand sanitizer wipe to use on them and still slip into my seat just before class started.

Knowing that could have had a lot worse consequences: like if it had happened when the water wasn’t “clean”…clean is in quotes, because just going to say that I would never truly classify toilet water as clean…and also if I had already been living in the land of the germophobes, it would have been a major issue and it might have been the first time OCD kept me out of class, I used my problem solving skills. This was not the first time my glasses fell off in the bathroom…this is just the first time I didn’t catch them and put them in my pocket before calamity occurred. Here is a picture of my old glasses and my current glasses. The problem should be easy to identify.

Lol...you can probably also see why I pay extra for the ultra thin and light lenses...
Lol…you can probably also see why I pay extra for the ultra thin and light lenses…

So solution so far: wearing my old glasses for whatever I can get away with it for and carrying around my current glasses for when I really need to be able to see…like in class. It isn’t a perfect solution; the prescription is somewhat old and also not evenly wrong so I’ve only been up for a little over two hours and my eyes are already tired, but at least they are close enough that I can feel safe driving in them as long as I don’t need to be reading street signs…and this is why I try to remember to get my glasses re-adjusted whenever I am home…but I forgot over winter break…side note: if anyone knows anywhere close to school that will adjust a pair of glasses they didn’t sell, I might be very interested.

Also, I was talking to my friend and there were a lot of awesome things that happened, because talking to my friends is the best thing in the whole world, but in particular she said “want to know what (name removed) did?” And I was like “umm, maybe,” so she told me. Apparently (name) was super rude to her and then got all passive aggressive so my friend was all passive aggressive right back in her face. And there was one particular part of her response that I was like why in the world would you say that?! And her response was something along the lines of “because I love to talk and so I’m going to drive her crazy talking her ears off. It’ll be like so what did you want to talk about? Everything. Just wait.” So yeah…I didn’t want to say thank you, because I don’t really want to condone being passive aggressive and payback and stuff, because that isn’t really very loving…but I might be twenty three (and a half), but on the inside I am still a threenager sometimes, and my inner threenager absolutely adored the idea of repaying rude and passive aggressive with a little bit of passive aggressive taste your own medicine. I mean, my friend wasn’t rude and had no plans of being mean or anything…just passive aggressive which is bad but not SO bad, and maybe a little time-wasting, but I mean, if you are wasting someone’s time who is paid to do it, it is kind of a win win…but anyway…instead of thanking her, I was proud that she was standing up for herself, because I really wish I had had the confidence and gall to do that when I was in the situation. I suggested a possibly more useful pathway, but she’s kinda like me in that once we come up with a solution we are pretty sure that is the way we want to do things…

One of my friends told me not to let other people limit me from the things that excite me…I do agree to some extent, and I had contented myself with my half agreement…until I was on facebook this morning and saw yet another thing I desperately wanted to do that I wasn’t sure if I could and even if I could, wasn’t sure it would be a good idea…when the excitement has already started bubbling over inside my heart it is super hard to try to shut that down…maybe it is time to just go for it, be strong, and hope for the best…at least if I know what I am getting myself into I can prepare myself in advance and have a safety plan in place if things aren’t going in the right direction…plus, this is going to be a lot less hurtful and scary topic to share…We’ll see. I don’t want to set myself for another “worst ‘exposure therapy’ of my life.” That was not a good thing and definitely impacted my academics and pretty much every other aspect of my life. I don’t think this one would be as bad, but considering that I know in advance what I would be walking into this time, it also might not be the greatest idea to do it just from an external safety perspective…but I want to so bad…

Completely unrelated: I was reading through peer-assessment comments on my presentation from a couple weeks ago…my opinion is that if the worst thing you can say about me is that my posture isn’t the greatest then I must have had a pretty kick-bottom presentation.

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