Don’t wander from the track

(Boo Boo Choo Choo)

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Typos, not just for typing…yeah, I don’t know how the ‘e’ from the end of medicare ended up there…

First and second year people teased me about being dyslexic. It bothered me, but I could easily brush it off, because I was pretty sure that there was like zero chance that I was actually dyslexic. When I was little I loved reading. My fourth grade teacher hated me because, in her words, “she always has her nose in a book.” Yeah…my parents clarified, and I wasn’t reading during instructional time or instead of doing my work—just that as soon as I finished instead of talking or doodling I took out my book…well, that or escaping to the bathroom because I somehow figured out in fourth and fifth grade that most of the time no one would question it if you claimed to need to go to the bathroom and then you could wander for a little while instead of sitting in class with nothing to do if your book ran out of pages…

I was good at reading and reading comprehension until about fifth grade when reading comprehension meant you needed to do more than know what all the words in the story were. (Still the problem I have now—I can read all the words, but I haven’t got a clue what all the words mean all smushed together like that…which is why aside from lack of focus that I am a super slow reader). So yeah, definitely no delayed ability to read.

Yeah, my handwriting is atrocious…but I am pretty sure that has a lot more to do with the fact that I learned four different fonts over the course of five years, each time being told that the way I had been writing was completely wrong and unacceptable and I must be able to copy this new font exactly. It was kind of frustrating so by the time I got to third grade I was going through the motions and doing my best to learn the new font, but was pretty fed up with the process and by the time I got to middle school and no one cared what font I used anymore completely stopped using the most recent one and worked really hard on the last one I had learned prior to deciding that new ones were wrong instead of me being wrong…I was kinda judgy or people whose handwriting didn’t match any of the fonts I had learned over the years…and then I needed to be able to write faster without making sure every letter looked perfectly like it was supposed to and ended up where I am now with a mish mash of letters that don’t even look the same one word to the next…I will say the corners on letters were the last thing to go because that is the thing I judged other people hardest on…also, this is why I now barely know cursive…I guess I was right about that one…teachers said once we learned cursive we would never go back to any other font because cursive was by far the easiest. False. As soon as I got out of fifth grade and it was therefore no longer required, I stopped using it. It takes five billionty times as long ’cause there are so many pieces of to all the letters and it takes a lot more coordination and scooting over on the page to write…I do agree people should know their own name in cursive, but even that is silly to teach in elementary school, because people get divorced and girls get married and as a result the name could potentially change so you might as well wait at least until late in high school to teach that…or just figure that we know how to use google to figure it out…just sayin’ (Lol, all that to say my handwriting is atrocious because of my handwriting adventures, not because of dyslexia).

Everybody accidentally flips around letters and numbers on occasion, right? Everyone makes mistakes, don’t they? My mistakes were just more public because I was bored so I wasn’t checking my work, and because putting my papers on the projectors in class was something that didn’t bother me a bit so sitting in the front row and generally following along with the lecture, my work was on display a lot. Mostly the teachers didn’t care that 1.298 became 1.289, because if you tell me I absolutely have to show my work, I will, in excruciating detail, likely with running commentary, so it was still clear where the numbers were coming from even if my answers were a little funky at the end…but I didn’t hear the end of it from my peers.

But I guess I heard it enough times that last night as I scribbled out and rewrote “probs” for the thirteenth time getting frustrated when letters in my head weren’t being the letters that were showing up on my paper, the words that had been stored away in their little box of unwarranted unkind accusations fell off the shelf. Luckily I woke up this morning once again smart enough to realize that looking into dyslexia would be opening up a can of worms for no good reason…besides the improbability that their words were based in truth, if I have gotten this far then clearly I am doing fine…plus my lab partner first year had dyslexia and she says it was so dumb to even bother with the diagnosis, because it isn’t like there is any way to treat it so who really cares…I think to some extent labels are useful, but this one seems like a huge wasteful drain of resources…

Besides, the reason I was struggling so much to write letters in the correct orientations was probably because my brain was working so hard to interpret visual information via glasses that are wrong, and not only that but are unequally wrong…speaking of, don’t believe articles that are titled quick easy fix for (fill-in-the-blank). Yeah, I found an article that promised to have a quick and easy fix to immediately eliminate headaches from glasses that are wrong. Umm, yeah, I would not consider getting five new pairs of glasses a quick or an easy fix. Does it work? I don’t know, but I know I definitely have no intention of dropping that kind of cash…especially when the problem could more easily be solved by adjusting the pair I already have.

Totally unrelated, but you know that you are a former OCD-er who watches way too much reality youtube videos when you get the nagging thought that you should put your glasses in your mouth…yes, the same pair that fell in the toilet on Thursday. I keep telling myself that is a really dumb idea…but soon I might just do it to make the thought shut up and go away…I mean, I did wash them multiple times, use a wipe on them, soak them in hand sani, wash them with bathroom cleaner, and soak them in hand sani again…how much danger could really be left? And TBH, if I got a serious infection I’d have a good excuse to have a do-over and this semester and not forget to turn in my homework or any of the other issues that have occurred. See, I do think positive.

Also unrelated, last week a follow up survey was sent out from the survey that was sent out like last year…I greatly appreciated that it looked like someone might have at least thought about proofreading prior to sending it out this time so there weren’t like five of the exact same option for each question…however, I still have a problem with telling people that they were “randomly selected” when your protocol says you sent the email to the entire student body…first, if you sent it to everyone, then you are surveying a population, not a sample…second, even if you want to consider it a sample because you want to generalize to college students in general, it would be a convenience sample, not a random sample…not to mention that convenience samples are generally frowned upon both from an ethical and a validity standpoint…I’m not going to be a butthead and not fill out your survey over it, but I believe in truthfulness surrounding research…also, I believe in a lot of things that you don’t seem to…like respect…and responsibility…and love…and confidentiality…and timeliness…

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