So I wrote another post yesterday…but it was kind whiney so I didn’t post it and started writing this instead…
I was told for so long that I was a hopeless failure that I internalized it, but that is not my true identity. It is a process I am still learning, but I am slowly learning to value the little successes that I was taught were stupid, inconsequential, not even worthy of the breath used to mention them…
Sometimes success is:
- Letting my (contaminated) glasses touch my bed.
- Laughing to myself in the morning as I explain that there is a difference between being a bad girl and having sheets on the bed that haven’t been washed in two weeks.
- Realizing that in the process of writing the first two items on this list that the fog of stress is starting to lift.
- Not berating myself for taking it easy.
- Getting the code right the second time.
- Realizing that if I created rule to protect myself and it is no longer protecting me then it is time to round-file the rule.
- Taking five minutes in the morning to sort clean from dirty clothes, fold the clean, throw dirty in the basket, and throw all the papers and stuff on the floor and counters into the box of “stuff” (It looks and feels so much more controlled).
- Remembering all the things I need for the day before walking out the door.
- Not screaming during quiet hours when I accidentally slammed my hand into the ceiling.
- Not spending forever trying to fix the fact that wordpress decided that the last few list markers should be closer together than all the rest of them…
Also, I just remembered this one awesome video…I can’t find the video anywhere…but I did re-type the entire narration of the video so the only thing I am missing is the actual video part…
“Every day we let people label us. They give us names. They call us names, and we believe them. We believe it when people say we’re no good. We believe it when they say we don’t matter. We let the world write us off. We accept the names we are given for so long that it’s hard to think about ourselves any other way. These names get burned into our minds, into our hearts, into our souls. We don’t doubt them. We don’t question them. We accept them. But these words are not our names. When we become children of God the names the world has given get erased, abolished, eliminated, cut out altogether. And in their place the names that God has had for us since the beginning of time. The names that are true, that have been there all along, start to show up. Because of Christ these names are our truth. Not because of anything that we do but because of who he is. Don’t let the world tell you your name. It does not know who you are to God. You are chosen. You are saved. You are an heir with Christ. Wear your true name. This is your banner. This is your flag. You are not the world’s. You are His.”