Ironically I actually had a conversation yesterday with a teacher about how isolation hurts so much more than almost anything else that happens in life…and then today my stupid ID wouldn’t work to let me study where I wanted, which equates to a sense of isolation, since it separates me from all my friends and everything else that I want. Although I was thinking about it overnight, and I don’t agree anymore that nothing is the worst thing to say to someone…Nothing is worse than an unintentional wrong thing, but the worst thing is actually to tell someone that they aren’t grieving. (At least I sure hope that wouldn’t be an accidental wrong thing…I have a hard time believing that telling someone they aren’t grieving when they clearly have something hard going on could ever be an accident). This makes me sad but also makes me laugh a little remembering a particular day I am not going to write about.
On the positive side, on a whim a week-ish ago I went looking for where the microwave in the other studying building on campus got moved to, so I still have a way to eat…which is good, because I like eating. Girl would be very crabby if she had to wait to get to church to eat lunch.
A few days ago an email went out that we have to sign that we agree with who is joining our fraternity (the one whose whole attraction factor is that you can go greek without having as many mandatory meetings to attend…so I did pretty much as a resume booster, because it is the most stupid and pointless group ever). Hahahahaha. You tell me I am required to sign that I agree with who is going to join our fraternity, and if I don’t agree I have to write a letter stating my preferences, and you know what, you could be telling me that Hitler was joining and I’d still say go for it…it doesn’t really change anything for me if someone else is joining. Not going to lie…I didn’t necessarily read the list before I signed my name to say I agreed. Sometimes I don’t care if my opinion is heard…besides, I am fairly certain there is only one more mandatory meeting left, so it isn’t like I actually have to be in the same room with this group more than one more time (and you wouldn’t believe how many people don’t show up for the mandatory meetings anyway…and I don’t blame them, because I’d rather go stick my head in a pot of boiling water than go to the meetings. So yeah, I do have the best friends that money can buy, and you know what, money doesn’t buy very good friends…the biggest problem is probably that leadership in the group is a popularity contest just like student council and when you have stuck up people who have no leadership skills running a group it isn’t going to go very well. (Side note that not the entirety of the leadership is stuck up, but the “president” is, and that sets the tone for the rest of the leadership).
I decided that living in an apartment is something that I am going to stop doing ASAP…Apparently once you tell them that you are officially planning on moving out, you are required to keep your apartment completely clean and presentable at all times and if they find out you didn’t then there is a significant fine. I have so many problems with this. First, I am a college student and I have a lot more important things to worry about than whether there is a stray shirt of the floor next to the washer or if the pile of books is starting to look like the leaning tower of Pisa. To me, it is my apartment and if I am stressed out and don’t want to deal with laundry and dishes until after an exam then I should be able to do that (assuming that there is not a science experiment brewing). Second, how in the world do I work on moving out while keeping my apartment presentable. Moving out is a huge process that usually spans over the course of a few weeks when I am *only* going home for break, so you can imagine that it is going to be an even bigger project when leaving for good…especially since I am trying to sell my dresser so once that is gone it will be pretty limited where I can store my stuff. I spent a significant portion of yesterday cleaning…and then of course getting ready in the morning takes twice as long when the bed has to be made and the pajamas neatly folded and…and…and…etc Not so bad when I have some extra time, but the majority of the time I do not have extra time.
On the positive side, now that they might be showing my apartment to prospective renters, perhaps they will finally fix the ceiling I have been complaining about since I moved in, and fix the broken burner I have been complaining about since November…
On the note of cleaning…I determined that if things were still halfway (or fully) shrink-wrapped then I probably didn’t need them…yep…which resulted in a trip to the dumpsters in the dark and rain…which was frustrating because the fire escape was slippery and also apparently they said they changed the codes on the gates, but what they didn’t say was that they only changed it on some of them, so I was frustratedly trying to release myself to go back to my apartment and the stupid code wasn’t working…I mean, it doesn’t work 70% of the time with the correct code anyway, but eventually I tried the old code and got to go home.