Questions Drip From My Umbrella

(Endure—Plumb)

I have too much going on to write a cohesive post…but my fingers like writing and my brain likes connection so…yeah.

Sad day…I calculated wrong which means that instead of 398 days until graduation from today, I actually have 400 days according to the duration calculator I found on the internet (I needed a counter so that if I lost track I didn’t have to math so much, ’cause clearly I’m not so good at mathing). I am so looking forward to graduation though…FREEDOM!! I may have finished editing over break a post to publish as soon as I graduate. That is how much I am looking forward to it. It is okay to hope about graduation, because it is exceedingly unlikely that anyone could take that away from me. I wish I could just graduate today and get everything over with.

I’m not going to write about the next thing I wanted to write about, because I should probably get more information before I get mad. I am good at piecing together random information to jump to a conclusion…and I am right a lot…which is how my calculations show that my suspicion that a particular person was pregnant a few years ago actually started at such a point that the person herself may have found out in a very similar timeframe…which was kinda funny because a certain other person was trying to hide it from me, and I laughed so hard at her attempt at talking around the obvious (especially since it was coming at a point when the tummy was starting to be noticeably pregnant…either that or someone was hiding a basketball under her shirts…yeah, mhmm, you keep on telling yourself that I’m too dumb to connect things like random change in hair, growing stomach, nausea, extra hunger, talking about baby names, and exhaustion in a female who was at least moderately considering more kids with a definite pregnancy)…but sometimes my conclusions are wrong…which is why I try not to get mad if my instinct says there is a problem until I ask the questions that need to be asked to find out the whole story…or until I read to the rest of the email…or whatever else needs to be done…

They say a nutritious diet requires variety…well, I have 35 flavors of skittles right here in this box…so I must have an abundantly healthy diet! We’ll forget about how I had this idea that if I ran out of peanut butter and ramen that I could eat hazelnut cookies & cream dip mixed with oatmeal instead…ideas like that would probably be a lot less awesome than I imagine them to be, because as good as it might taste, it probably wouldn’t be that satisfying, so I should probably go to the grocery store before I get that desperate…but for now I still have extra-chunky peanut butter and ramen so I don’t have to think about that yet.

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Sometimes the answer isn’t yes to what I prayed for…but sometimes it is good that God is not my cosmic vending machine…although cosmic brownies are really good (especially the ones with itty bitty M&M’s on top…but the ones with walnut on top are good too)…because what I want changes…a lot…and sometimes if I got what I wanted one day it would preclude me from getting what I wanted the next day…right now what I want is to graduate on time to prove that I can and to help other people along the way, but it has alternated a LOT in the past few days with another want that would exclude the possibility of graduating on time…I feel like what I wanted before is something that people will misunderstand and twist if I post it online, so I guess if you really wanna know then either comment or actually talk to me if you know me in real life…

Kinda like when my dad got a new job he liked better (when I was in probably elementary school) and he jokingly said “so long suckers” when we passed the place he used to work in the car one day, I kinda sorta want to scream “so long suckers” when I leave graduation…super immature, oh yes, but it would feel really good…Note that I am not going to do it…especially now that I know the literal definition of suckers, ’cause that is super nasty, but my imagination loves the idea…my imagination also doesn’t live in the world of reality though…my imagination also thinks that someday I’ll sell the graphing calculator I used all of one time…and that hasn’t happened yet…

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