Too many leaders. You asked for followers. So take the lead now, ’cause your my father.

(What You Want—Tenth Avenue North)

This is kind of halfway between brain dumping for finals and a legit post…

You know you are distractible and have a moderately selective (but not choice-ful selection) memory when: you forget to take ibuprofen and then wonder why everything you took did absolutely nothing for you…and then look in your pill case to take more things and realize that umm, no, you didn’t take any ibuprofen because you packed three red (200mg non-flavored) and 2 orange (100mg flavored) which is the same number as is left in there…oops…well that explains why it didn’t work. I actually did take the tums and vitamins, but I did not take the ibuprofen. Let’s just say when I was on antibiotics in high school the only way I knew if I had taken it was by counting how many were left in the bottle based on the days I remembered skipping it…yeah, I am a really lousy example…don’t get your drug taking modeling from me…although in my defense, I didn’t want to be on antibiotics and it was my parents idea and they made it clear there was going to be a loss of privileges if I didn’t…(but I was pretty sure they wouldn’t keep track close enough to know if I skipped it sometimes)…oh, but I can totally spin this into a positive–I don’t have issues taking ibuprofen anymore like I did when the OCD was taking over!

Today I learned that I can have a really awesome day AND take a final.

After doing a wiggly happy dance in the early morning re-reading the notes of a bunch of my friends, and then crying in the late morning because I felt really left out, I got a really awesome surprise! I still am very much a draw an extra set of lines inside the lines kind of person, but I am also all for not being left out. I would have been happy with just a cookie and a cup in which to make my own tea, but I got to have whatever I wanted, which I re-translated into I can go one time and do not go anywhere but that one place and keep eyes straight ahead, no talking, no playing games…but I was thrilled. Also, that there was actually caffeine free options that didn’t come out of my backpack!! That like never happens at school!

Oh my…that one video about fidgeting I referenced a few weeks ago that I had been watching while waiting for people to come be tutored, well, it talked about Tangles, and I was like, aren’t those intended to be a baby toy? Except, I was playing with them today, and they really are so much fun and there were even fuzzy pieces…except, the non-fuzzy ones get very hard to take apart and put back together when your finger start getting sweaty…so, yeah…I don’t like not finishing what I started, but it was getting very close to time to get out of there, so I had to leave it not 100% sorted by color…but I put it all in a pile NOT on the floor when I was done so it wouldn’t be like stepping on legos to the next unsuspecting customer. Right next to my declaration in the sand “I love me” because I do. Love me that is. I’m pretty awesome. You should get to know me.

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I was so happy that someone told me I should take a CD and even though I wasn’t a fan of the music and don’t really need extra things to pack up, I almost did…until I saw the words on the CD and went NO WAY and dropped it like it was burning my fingers (hey, at least I didn’t fling it across the room…but even if I had, it would be a lot more convenient to pick it up and put it in its rightful place on the table than when I throw my pencil or paper off my bed at my apartment and have to go find where it went and then climb back up onto the bed)…but anyway, after reading the first two words on the CD ain’t no one tricking me into pretending to like that. (Yes, I know that is improper use of the word am not). Besides, I come with my very own music in the form of a computer and a phone with headphones so even if the music wasn’t kind of annoying and was instead just okay, why would I listen to subpar music when I could listen to AMAZING music. (Plus, I don’t even know where my disk drive is and my CD player at my for real house is reserved for Sleep Sound in Jesus by Michael Card). There are a bajillion songs/musicians that I adore like Plumb and Thomas the Tank Engine and Blank Space (WUM) and Maternity Pants (Elle), but there are some I don’t, and that is okay. I get to have my own opinions. You can have your own opinions, but I get to keep mine.

Also, there was this toy full of lights and water and scented smoke and that was awesome too and I didn’t even spill the water on myself…LOL…my mentee, remembering how clumsy I can be, was kind of worried that I was going to end up with soggy pants to take my final, but there was not much water in there and it had a pretty wide base, so it would have taken talent even for me to spill…and I mean, I do have talent, but not that much talent…now, if it had been filled up to the 500mL line, then yeah, there would have been a pretty good chance I would have been wearing the water if I had played…but I am smart enough most of the time to know my limits, so if it were that full the cap would have gone back on without me playing with it…also, there were TWO red markers in the room…how awesome is that?! Doodle time!!

The final didn’t go super awesome today, but I can honestly say that I did my best, and I could have studied forever and ever and not had any better idea what the teachers were looking for on a variety of the questions…so many times I was like umm, yeah, I could totally explain to you the information you are trying to test me on, but I have no idea what you are attempting to ask me with this question. In this case, some of them may be partly 2/2 my not so awesome reading comprehension level, but sometimes I think it is fair to say that the question was just somewhat poorly worded. I wish there were an explanation box so I could tell them what I was thinking to justify my answer to show that I really did know what I was talking about even if I didn’t pick the answer they were expecting based on that information.

One more final.

369 days.


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