Caught up in the halls of introspection

(House of Mirrors- Tenth Avenue North)

Can I just say that I adore children…except for when one of them decides my toothbrush is awesome and plays with it…Kids outside of an elementary school setting have never been a germ problem for me—even in situations it probably isn’t very safe I am happy to share with kids…and right now I am at a place where it is relatively hard to ruffle my germ feathers even though I always live life with a little bit of protection just in case to soften the fall if anything does happen. I will say though that someone playing with my toothbrush went pretty close to the zone of not okay with me. It’s a good thing she’s cute…and that it didn’t actually go in her mouth.

I think I finally identified what it is that bothers me so much about people bashing Trump…see, I knew there was more to it than just that people were being incredibly rude, because while I reacted to people bashing Hillary, internally I reacted more to Trump bashing. The difference is that the core complaint hits a little too close to home. The difference is that the main thing people seem to complain about is that he isn’t the greatest speaker (okay, that might have been putting it a bit too softly…he is a lousy public speaker). I get that he isn’t eloquent, but there are worse things at which to be lousy. TBH, it is my opinion that it doesn’t take eloquence to run a country. I, too, am not eloquent, not a good speaker. If I were judged solely on my social communication skills, people would probably have a lot of fuel for bashing me, too. Yes, I did tell someone a few months ago “maybe you should dance by yourself.” It was intended to be a positive comment, and you can probably tell that it doesn’t sound so positive when spoken. I do say a lot of dumb things when I don’t think before I start talking. The point I was trying to convey is easy to ignore, instead making fun of the way I expressed my opinion. I am lucky enough to be able to usually surround myself with people who will clarify and take a moment to understand what I am trying to say, and to not be surrounded by the media. Everyone has flaws, and not being well-spoken doesn’t make me or Trump a bad person. It just takes a little bit of being polite and listening to understand our hearts. Am I saying that I agree with every one of Trump’s policies? No, I am not, and I do not. (Note that I also do not agree with all of Hillary’s policies or all of Gary’s policies. They each had policies I liked as well as policies I disliked). I didn’t vote, and I can honestly say that the more I looked into the issues, the more the decision of the “best” candidate for presidency as well as the “best” candidate for whom to vote became foggy. I know I’ve talked about a few of the issues already, but based on the hate-speech I am still hearing about the candidates, I think further sharing of my opinion is probably not a prudent choice at this time. Like I heard on the radio one day, America desperately needed change and change is what we got. Regardless of the candidate filling the White House next year, it was going to be a change. Only time will tell exactly what that change will be. Because we are adults, we can show respect to our leader without agreeing with every one of their opinions.

Have you ever been spontaneously invited into the middle of a party and not known how to escape when it is almost midnight and you usually go to bed at 9? Yeah, that happened. It was probably good because I realized about the time I got in my car that I hadn’t made very good nutrition choices all day…hmm: cheerios for breakfast, noodles bread chips and skittles for lunch, crackers and cookies for dinner…what’s missing? Parties aren’t really the best for me getting nutrition in either, but I did at least add some protein to that list. I just had a little hard time trying to figure out how to excuse myself to go to bed. Like I unsuccessfully tried to explain to someone first year, knowing potential words to say and watching interactions has never really been enough in some areas of communication to pick up on the skills I need, because there are some situations that are just seem so different every single time that I can’t figure out how to properly imitate them or modify them to meet my needs. Leaving a conversation is one of those areas…and it is a problem both in person and on the phone. It is one that I really need to figure out though, because being at a party until almost midnight isn’t good when I have a ton of homework I really need to be doing…and sleep I really need to be getting…I was really proud of myself for staying in bed until almost six, but when I was most definitely awake by 3, it just isn’t quite enough. I have been trying to do homework but ending up staring at the screen or at my paper in a half asleep daze…so tired…

Speaking of nutritional choices…it was becoming obvious there was a problem right about the time I got in my car to go home. I knew the gas light had been on for a while. I knew the closest gas station was the opposite direction as home. I knew I had 10 miles left before completely empty. I went around the block to go to that closest gas station…then immediately realized that the closest one in the direction I actually needed to be heading to get home was definitely within 10 miles…so instead of turning left with a light like I could have done, I ended up turning left onto a busy road without a light…yep, I am an idiot sometimes. I did make it to the gas station without running out or getting lost…and then promptly drove past another gas station I totally could have made it to that was selling the gas for 20 cents cheaper per gallon…you can’t be picky when you live about 15 miles from church and are forgetful (and/or lazy) about keeping your car full of gas…especially when you are directionally challenged and never really know how far you’ll actually end up going in the process of getting from point A to point B. (Lol, people think when I am willing to try going somewhere myself that I must know what I’m doing—in reality, I have just gotten really comfortable with being super lost). Yeah, there are a lot of things about myself I would change if I could, but sometimes those same things can be positive. There’s always two sides to every coin, you just have to flip it over. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_hK6YG3jjI )

I had another paragraph written. I deleted it because it was probably going to offend someone. You’re welcome.

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