A Radiant Light

(Rise – Danny Gokey)

I have worked harder on this rotation than on any other rotation…but I don’t feel like I really have anything to show for it, because this rotation I worked really hard on communication skills. I kinda wish when I was trying to decide between the difficult conversations and the emergency medicine sessions at Midyear that I’d picked difficult conversations, because in reality, that is what I have really worked on.

I gave a journal club presentation to which I was late without a full lunch, much less any skittles. I advocated for myself when my grade didn’t reflect the comments on the evaluation.

Today I conducted two phone visits ALL BY MYSELF!!

I am so proud of me.

I might be half asleep right now because the past few nights this has been bedtime in order to get as much sleep as possible in to catch up from Midyear, but I am alert enough to know that what I’ve done is really awesome and deserves some recognition.

This is the girl who just a few years ago carried her computer with her everywhere to allow her to write any necessary communication that couldn’t be handled with pointing, nodding, and shaking my head in asking teachers questions. This is a girl who in an emergency probably would have stretched her comfort zone attempting to text 911 even once she did become a more fluent speaker, because talking on the phone was still too hard.

This is a girl who had never been completely in control of a patient visit in person, and has now been in control of two visits over the phone! Two successful visits over the phone. Was I scared and praying the whole time the phone was ringing that no one would pick up…umm…okay fine, definitely yes, but bravery isn’t not being scared. Bravery is doing it, scared. And I did.

If I had any energy left, I would be jumping up and down.

Also, I still don’t agree with the apparent mismatch between positive comments and negative grade, but after advocating for myself (one of my goals first year) and talking with my preceptor (using my words) it sounds like my grade might actually be an A at the end of all this.

Take that all those people who thought I couldn’t do it! Just watch me do it!

You might have tried to convince me I couldn’t, but I’m proving to you and to me that you were wrong!

Where there’s a will there’s a way, and you better believe this bull-headed girl has a will! My classroom grades may not be perfect, but I am going to do whatever I can to make my rotation grades as close to perfect as they possibly can be. I am good enough, and I deserve it!

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