If the world would stop spinning, would you even notice if I wasn’t there?

(candycoatedwaterdrops – plumb)

I am stressed out.

I know I am not supposed to share any part of my rank list…but…let’s just say that somewhere I have wanted to be a resident forever is one of the two places I am interviewing tomorrow during snowmageddon.

How do you interview when you not only know, but have trained, been precepted by, or both almost all of the people interviewing you? Like 99% of the things I have managed to come up with something to say about besides I don’t know in my other interviews doesn’t exactly work when it’s all things that happened with the person interviewing me…(have I mentioned I am lousy at interviewing and even though I am more than halfway done am still answering most questions with umm I don’t know?)…

The upstairs people know and love me…they are the ones who tell me they don’t want me to ever leave and who appreciatively text me over what I see as just doing my job…but the downstairs people are the ones interviewing me…One of the other people who wants the same position as me is a downstairs person who is known and loved…for that matter, the rest of the external candidates (and any other internal candidates I don’t know about) are also possibly tough competition, because I am lousy at this whole interviewing thing. Sure, on paper I am a great person, but they aren’t hiring a paper, they are hiring a person, and in person it takes some time for me and someone else to calibrate so that they understand me and I am comfortable with them. I don’t know if they are going to want me, and if the people who already know me don’t want me then how much less are the people who met me for only a day going to want me?…and since I want pediatrics, chances are I won’t get it if I don’t match in the first round, because that is extremely competitive…

At rotation today when I wasn’t driving all over the suburbs (thank God for the google maps app on my phone…) picking up drugs we needed I was running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off trying to enter and fill and make phone calls all at once while everyone yelled at me about things that needed to get done. Y’all, I am ONE person and am not even supposed to be spending much time in any of the work queue’s, much less three or four of them at once or driving around the area. I might be able to work at the speed of multiple people in certain situations, but there is a limit on what I am capable of, and talking to one person while listening to two others and counting is not something I can do…I’m not ignoring you or lollygagging, I am working on the 20 other people waiting.

And supposedly I am writing a paper right now…a paper that is due by Monday…that was assigned two weeks ago…that I started yesterday…and by started I mean I saved a couple links to articles in my browser…which means there is no way I will actually have the articles I need in time to actually write the paper in time…not to mention with an interview tomorrow and another on Monday I don’t exactly have all the time in the world to spend time on this paper anyway…

Not to mention all the other things that need my attention and need it now…

Also, I got an article in my inbox a couple days ago about the abysmal pass rates of the NAPLEX (licensing exam) recently…yeah, guess who has mostly only given lip service to studying…and then there are the MPJE (law) exams for each state I need a license in…and hoping the MN board doesn’t complain too much about my lack of following directions on hours forms…

Can I please have like 5 clones of myself?

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